A green haze drifted up from the murky bottom of the ocean, carrying the scent of inadequacy.

“One wish,” the voice croaked out.

“But I rubbed the lamp! I should get three!” The eel stroked the brass with her decimated forehead.

“You have scared too many children.” The voice shook with fury. “And so have I. The rules were bent for those such as us.”

The eel slithered to the bottom, sending up a cloud of silt.

“Make your wish,” the voice bellowed with as much power as a waft of smoke could produce. “Choose wisely, oh shamed one, for a well-spoken wish could change…” The lamp rattled and the eel thought she could hear a parrot squawk.

“QUIET, YOU!”

The eel shrank away.

“MAKE YOUR WISH, YOU SLIMY PEON!”

The eel took a deep breath. “I just want to go back to before.” She sighed. “But with a better voice.”

“Very well.”

“Night fell, but at the bottom of the ocean, who could really tell?”

The green smoke curled around the little eel, creating a vortex of flashing light. Before the little eel could elaborate on her thoughts, she was swept up in what remained of the creature’s power. Vampire squid and fangtooth fish rushed away. Ghostly amphipods leaned far from this unnatural power.

From a burst of heat and light, the little eel exploded into million stars. In her place floated a voluptuous figure with shrimp-red lips, a gravity-defying bouffant, and eight sticky tentacles.

The creature snatched a clam from the murky depths and with mulberry fingernails, ripped the flesh from the shell. She tossed the little animal to its death and held the shell up to her face as a looking glass.

“I’m back!” Flashing a fabulous sneer, she cackled in such a way that would bring a certain type of merman to his knees… or..mid-tail…

And the sound, the worst types of flotsam and jetsam slithered back into the fray to prostrate themselves before their Queen.

Once Ursula had received every obeisance, she spiraled upright, making sure her abdomen was ready to support her breath.

She felt light, confident, relieved. No more husky tone with its limited range. No more shying away from the glorious high notes only to growl a lazy man’s third-below in their place. It was time for a ballad – nay! A showstopper! It was time, finally, to do the only thing she had ever wanted to do: SING.

Ursula took an enormous breath, lifting the roof of her plump mouth and raising her perfectly-plucked eyebrows, preparing to send a glorious crescendoed high note into the mask of her face.

The gnarly fanged, spineless hoard of her minions floated rapt in anticipation.

Ursula threw out her arms and pushed out all the sound she had ever wanted to make. She would sing throughout the whole ocean, past that pompous King Tritan and his thin-lipped harem of daughters, past stupid cheating Ariel and her prince on shore, all the way to Atlantis.

All that was heard was a croak. A crack. A garble.

Ursula saw the pity in the eyes of her followers. She saw their barely disguised disdain. Blood rose into her cheeks. She grasped the magic lamp and shook it violently, shrieking what she still could not sing.

What she said to Jafar is not fit for print.

Jafar simply responded “I don’t care.”

With a wild, tuneless scream, Ursula hurled the lamp into the mouth of a waiting megamouth shark. The shark clamped down and both exploded.

“OUT!” Ursula shouted. Her hapless bunch slithered away when they saw the tears behind her eyes.

Ursula slunk into her cave. Night fell, but at the bottom of the ocean, who could really tell? Besides, it no longer mattered to Ursula whether it was night or day. Ariel and her stupid perfect voice was gone, walking around on those damned feet. Married to a Prince with a sheepdog and servants, making fires just so she could watch them burn. Jafar, her last hope, had exploded.

It was pointless. She would never have her wish. She would never sing.

Ursula turned to the wall and bent her shoulders, surrendering her tears to the salty finality of the ocean. She sobbed so pitifully that she did not sense the water shifting in the mouth of the cave.

Out of the depth swirled a creature so rare, it has never been documented. Long, silvery hair flowed from a human-like head. Two fins spread wide and thin like a cape. The bottom of the creature was neither tail nor legs. Rather, a swirling essence of elegance and grace.

“Ursula.” The creature’s hypnotic voice was warm and rich. In three syllables, the melodious tones could captivate even the hardest of souls.

“Ursula, my dear.” The creature swirled around the slumped octopus. “That is terrible posture.”

Ursula raised eyes full of fire.

“Oh, you might as well calm down,” the creature said. “A temper like that could give you reflux, which is terrible for the voice.”

“Who are you and how dare you come into my presence?” Ursula bellowed.

The creature raised one eyebrow and held Ursula’s gaze. “Your instrument has potential, but you lack technique,” she said.

Ursula raised her pitchfork.

“I can give you what you wish,” said the creature. “But you must do exactly what I say.”

“What?” Ursula spat at her, lowering the pitchfork slightly. “What do you think you could ask of me that I haven’t already done? You want me to manipulate people – hurt them? Done it. Want me to lie, steal, cheat at a bargain? I’ve done that too! You want me to create chaos and destruction? I literally turned into a tornado, you fool! There’s nothing I care about – nothing I won’t sacrifice!”

“Are you sure?” The creature swirled closer. “There’s nothing you wouldn’t sacrifice to get what you want? Nothing you have left to sacrifice? Even for… a voice?”

Ursula swallowed. “You couldn’t give me that.”

“You’re right. I can’t.”

In one swift move, Ursula aimed the pitchfork and sparks began to shoot forth. The creature merely held out her hand and said,

“You can.”

Epilogue

Ultimately, Ursula decided to follow the creature’s advice. She began to practice several hours per day, take care of her health, hydrate, study discography and filmography. She can be found singing the trouser, duenna, and occasionally character roles over at the Mesopelagic Local Opera Theatre. She feels assured that with enough practice, she will one day land a diva role.

Ursula’s dedication to her artistry began to take up much of the time that is needed to properly execute bad deals, cage innocent merfolk who passed into the territory, and bully in general. She made the decision to step down from her previous position. Frank the Frilled Shark is now Ruler of the Abyss.